In My Dream Once again...

I have always heard some people say: "Let go of your past, live your present, and embrace the future." It feels so philosophical and melodramatic at times when it comes from us. Although our life is always filled with those tiny melodramatic events or moments that we often call memories for life. Again, life is one of those unpredictable things where nobody can know what will happen next.

Dhruv was seated with some friends or family; he seemed to enjoy the moment at the table along with his favorite cup of coffee. The giggling continued for a while until he realized that Radhika was seated in front of him, observing him and his childish behavior throughout. Soon, his laughter ceased, and he began to feel a sudden rise in his heartbeat. The pain was similar to what he felt when he missed her, but seeing her, he was unable to utter a word. One part of him was saying, "Why the hell is she here?" while the other kept saying, "Forget everything, just look at her, she looks so beautiful."

Well, to call your ex beautiful isn't a crime, as some people do say: "You will always find your girlfriend more beautiful from the moment she dumps you." Maybe the criteria for Dhruv had changed; he started believing that every person is beautiful. But these thoughts in his mind had completely frozen the moment he realized Radhika wasn't even blinking at all while she kept staring at him. Dhruv would often look at her, assuming she wasn't aware, but he was caught the very second time he did it.

Radhika smiled at him, and he felt dead for that moment. Why was she doing this? He still hated her since the day she had left. He tried to look elsewhere as she continued to gaze at him. The next thing that happened made Dhruv skip a heartbeat. He was shocked when Radhika called him by the same name she always used, "Mottu" (meaning fatso). But he loved the way she always called him that, although he would always argue when they were in a relationship together. So as soon as she called him, he couldn't stop himself from looking at her.

"Mottu, let's go out. I want to talk to you," she said. He kept saying to himself, "No, Dhruv, do not go with her, that's a trap." Soon, they were walking on the same roads they used to always.

It had been almost 5-10 minutes when he asked her this question. In the meanwhile, she was comfortably walking beside him with one of her hands on his shoulder, just like most friends do. Dhruv had his hands folded and had made an attempt to break the silence between them, "Where are we going?" he asked.

"We are going to your favorite place, Dhruv. You always liked it here, right?" She said.

"This is not my favorite place, Radhika," Dhruv replied as he looked at her. She seemed more confident in her posture and attitude, the one which Dhruv always carried, but somehow it felt like he was missing that confidence with her.

"You always liked it here, Dhruv. You used to come along with me," she said.

"That's the point. We never came to that part of our relationship where I could take you to the place where I always feel at peace. Yes, I would agree we always used to be here, but not because I liked this place. It was because you love this place," he said and smiled, nodding his head in disgrace.

"So tell me, Dhruv, which is your favorite place?" She tried to ask him, but as they continued to walk, he tried to say nothing for some time until he found the right words to speak. He really liked the way she was trying to act normal and behave as if they were long-lost friends. Dhruv somehow believed this was not real.

"So you know something, Radhika? Today, this world is all about right and left swipes. It has become very easy to be with someone and satisfy your physical needs, but do you really want to know the place I find peace? No, Radhika, that's not what you need from me. We never came to a point in our relationship where I would tell you about my favorite place because you were never bothered about it. The thing is, you don't need to bother with what I really think because, like a fool in this hypocritical world, I am still trying to find the place where you will return to me and say it to me. Dhruv, it's okay, you need to move on. It's okay to let go of me. It's okay to forget what I did, and it's been a long time now. You really need to forget me and let go of me from your
thoughts and your heart. But, Radhika, I know this will never happen, as none of this is real. You walking with me with your hands on my shoulder, then pretending you are still my best friend... I am really sorry, don't do this to me. I know this is not real, and this will never happen, as it's just a…"

Before I could actually say the word "DREAM," my alarm started to ring. I had to wake up and start my day. So, the dream was over, but the thoughts of her never went away. I tried to finish the dream by closing my eyes, but that never happened. I guess most of the things were said by Dhruv in the dream, so for me, it was just another fresh start to the day.